answered prayers

I could not emphasize more that God is good... so good... As I always being reminded, He will answer our prayers perfectly at the right time, never too soon nor too late, in fact He knows what we need more than ourselves.

As I might have confessed the other day, on the day of my commencement of my undergrad, I felt like a complete failure... totally... part of me was telling me that I did not fight and study hard enough. With that, I made a promise to myself that when I got back to my school for my graduate study, I will fight and I will try and try and try again... As a matter of fact, it is my best friend, n-y-o-t, who somehow infects me with her spirit, enthusiasm, confidence and discipline. She is one of the blessing in my life, and I know that she is definitely going to be my once in a life time kind of friend. I am lucky because not everyone in their life can meet such person who make a big impact in their lives. Going back to the topic, I promise myself to be more active, more confident in taking leadership roles, in doing my projects (in my ability to do it), in convincing recruiters that I can get the job done! in being myself... a better me, personally and intelectually.

Telling you the truth, during my undergrad oftentimes I felt desperate, questioning what was so bad with me, that I did not get an internship in a multi-national company, that people underestimate me, that I did not get that exceptional flying-color grades, that I just cant do my job. and when I looked back, I realized that I was all over the place, I was not focus, I tried to do all things at the same time. Some people might be able to handle it, but for me its better to have 2-3 works at the same time but with sufficient time and effort I can focus and deliver fine results. By being unable to deliver results, it discounted my confidence even more, leaving me with wandering brain.

Good thing I realize my mistakes, and more, I have people around me who always believe that I can do better (who else can assure me better =p). Those small 'exercises' in life were meant to train me to better handle bigger things in the future - I get it. and Yes, I went through the next chapter of my life with obedience, optimism, and integrity every day, because it hurts to remember the times when I was just not good enough...

Through it all, God has answered my prayers today... and in my first year of my graduate study, I have given an opportunity to have a leadership role, I have gotten a scholarship, and I am offered a summer internship at Cadbury (I got the offer today!!). I was offered a co-op at Campbells Soup last semester but things are just not working right in terms of time and my professor, and I just let it go. But I really do believe at that time that the Lord will give a better one, and its happening! Without any doubt, my next path is going to be busy , challenging, and exciting... but I am ready! because God is sooo good...

I am alone tonight, but I gotta celebrate it... baby back ribs, salad, and onion ring... thats a lot for one person... but =)) cheersss!!

with my deepest thank you to: David, Melvany and Tia, you help me to be who I am today...

I want to share...

Well, I'm pretty sure that all of us has been through some kind of battle and struggle, in life, in work, in study, in career, in love, in your brain and heart... in becoming a better person (this should be always our constant goal i guess). And anyway, I am touched by these pieces and I would like to share it. Not any words and sentences like these get me motivated but it might be that I hear it at the right time, the time when I am really afraid that I cannot finish my master degree on time. That I cannot meet my own promise... and that's what I fear...

THE CLIMB by Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head saying,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
-- keep the faith

and another one:

NO FEAR by Scott Mcintyre

and when we feel incredible fear

let us reckon that He's always near

did you ever think to say a word in prayer

you know that He will hear

and when we feel incredible fear

let us not shed one single tear

even when the road is narrow and confused

you know He'll make it clear

now that i know that

its gonna be alright tonight

he's watching with his eyes

i have no fear coz He's always near

to me he's right here by my side

i am afraid

when im lost at sea

and i cant be brave, no no

when i trust in me

these are the times in which

i called in Him the most

i know He sets me free

a lonely wonderer

walkin on in fear

fearing fear itself

you conquered it

and rose again

what is to fear